Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Before you go on vacation...

When my husband and I go on vacation, we can be sure that some kind of cat-driven hi jinks will happen in our absence. We can always count on the oldest cat greeting us with a very loud, hateful meow, followed by ignoring us for the next several days. Her style of ignoring includes sitting with her back toward us and sleeping by herself instead of next to my left shoulder. I guess this is just how she chooses to express her disdain for being left behind.
The ignoring I can handle. The random crazy shit caused by one of the other cats (I'm looking at you Kelso) is what I dread. For example, when we went to Mexico for four days last year, we came home to find Kelso locked in the spare bathroom. To accomplish this, he went into the bathroom, shut the bathroom door and then opened a drawer in front of the door. This open drawer prevented the door from opening more than an inch. When we finally managed to get the door open and free him, we found surprise #2; piles of shit. I should also mention that before he shut himself in the bathroom, he also shut himself in the spare bedroom (which you must travel through to get to the spare bathroom). So, the sequence of events went something like this: (1) go into spare bedroom, (2) shut the door from inside, (3) go into bathroom, (4) shut the door from inside, (5) open drawer, (6) take a shit and then (7), repeat step 6 as needed.
The Hawaii vacation would be no different, except the hi jinks occurred before the vacation. A few days before our departure from the mainland, my husband and I noticed the aroma of cat shit, but we could NOT figure out where it was coming from. The litter boxes were clean and empty and a thorough search of the house did not reveal a rogue pile of crap. We couldn't find the origin. As it turns out, we were too limiting in our search. This is what my husband found:

Don't see what I am talking about? Try this one:

Yes, that is the culprit sticking to the door. A smear of cat doo doo.

My husband and I spent about 5 minutes bent over laughing our asses off upon finding this gem. How the hell did one of our cats manage to wipe their ass on the door, in an upward motion starting two inches from the ground? Keep in mind that the cats ass is at least 6-10 inches from the ground, depending on the cat in question. WTF cats?


Bori said...

Funny, do they also bring their hunting prey home? I became friends with a cat of my host family during a summer abroad, and always found little mice on the carpet next to my bed in the morning- well until I learned to close the window at night!
On the bright side- at least you know your cats love you, or they wouldn't act like that.

Thomas Joseph said...

If it were not for the fact that my GSD pees in my house constantly, I'd say your example is a reason not to get cats. As it is, I think both of our experiences is reason to avoid pets altogether.

Cath@VWXYNot? said...

LOL! Haven't had that one before. Although (TMI) last month one of my cats ate one of the long thin leaves on a new plant my mother-in-law gave me (similar to a spider plant), and I woke up on morning to find her walking around with half of it sticking out of her ass, with a blob of poo on the very end, dragging on the floor. After I stopped laughing and, um, helped her with her problem, I cleaned pretty much every surface in the house!

Girlpostdoc said...

That post made my day. Thanks for the laugh!

microbiologist xx said...

Everyone - sorry to take forever and a day to respond. Last week was insane!

Bori - No, but only b/c they don't go outside. Two of them bring us certain toys and drop them at our feet. Only in a pets mind does shitting on a door possibly translate as love. :)

TJ - Yeah. I can't imagine not having any pets, but I think in the future I will limit myself to one.

Cath - Oh my god, that's nasty (and funny since I am not cleaning it up). I'm actually surprised the leaf made it all the way through and out the other end. When my cats eat leaves they tend to puke them up.

Girlpostdoc - Glad I could help!