Thursday, December 17, 2009

I'd like to shove a tree up Santa's butt

Seriously folks, my holiday cheer is all tapped out. I'm pretty sure I ran out a couple years ago. Don't get me wrong, I like the days off, but I dislike, dare I even say hate, almost everything else related to this holiday and since I can't drink or beat the crap out of the next person I see wearing a holiday sweater, I am going to use this blog as a place to let out my holiday-induced irritation over the next few posts.

Topic 1: Step away from the holiday music. For reals.

I don't want to hear stupid holiday- themed music on the radio station, in stores, at work or anywhere else anymore. Every damn store in the city started playing this crap in early November* and every song has already been played a trillion times. What's worse than just hearing plain old x-mas tunes over and over again, is that there is a limited number of songs from the start, so instead of just playing all of them ample times and retiring them, you get to hear every other musician's take on the same x-mas "classic" and it always really bad, even if the artists normal music is good.

My mother contributes to this epidemic of shitty music in her own special way. She loves her x-mas music and as a result, we must listen to it on Christmas day, while opening gifts. One of her favorite holiday CDs is a Reba McEntire does the holiday classics type of deal. To say it's one of the worst things I've ever had the misfortune of listening to, is an understatement.** When I hear her voice singing x-mas songs, I feel homicidal and hope for spontaneous deafness that lasts around 45 minutes. If we are lucky, we get her to play something like Bing Crosby does Christmas (or whatever his particular album is called), which isn't nearly as bad since at least he sang all the songs without trying to add some stupid unique flair. Hell, I probably wouldn't even mind listening to ole Bing on x-mas day if I hadn't already been listening to bullshit holiday music for the last 60 fucking days.

For my own well-being, I think I'll just keep the ear buds in as much as possible until the holiday season is over.


*Some stores were already playing this crap in October. October!!

**In all fairness, I must admit that I do not like country music, nor do I enjoy Reba McEntire. However, I love the hell out of Radiohead, but I don't want to hear their version of Oh Holy Night either.

7 comments:

Cath@VWXYNot? said...

The only Christmas album we have is the James Brown one. You should try that (and Fairytale of New York City, of course) as a Christmas Day antidote. Either that or buy everyone new CDs for Christmas - in our house, at least, everyone got to play their new tunes (cassettes in those days!) on the day!

The early start really annoys me too. At least in the US, Thanksgiving keeps everyone distracted until late November. Here in Canada, Thanksgiving is in mid-October so once Hallowe'en's over with, it's Christmas all the way.

tideliar said...

Why don't you tell us how you really feel? Seriously. Don't hold back...

:p

tideliar said...

If you like, drop me a line at tideliar_REMOVE-THIS-BIT_AT_gmail_DOT_com

I got a funny for you...

EcoGeoFemme said...

Agreed on all counts!

In past years when several of us were working in the same lab together, I mandated that the christmas music couldn't start until the last week before break. Or else I would have gone berserk. And they say I'm bossy...

Dr. A said...

Also -- Playing the 'Greatest' Pop Christmas Songs is not a nice thing to do at a physical therapy clinic where people HAVE to be there, for up to 2 hours sometimes. Just sayin.

microbiologist xx said...

cath - I have not heard the James Brown Christmas album, but I would be willing to give it a whirl. I'll wait until the next holiday season when I am feeling more open minded. At this point I am hating all things Christmas with as much bias as possible.
Thanksgiving doesn't seem to be holding back the Christmas cheer as well as used to. I saw x-mas decor BEFORE Halloween this year and music and decorations were being put up before Thanksgiving. It wasn't everywhere, but it was enough places to cause concern.

tideliar - yeah, I've been told a lot that I need to work on expressing myself better and really try to learn how to form an opinion. I'm working on it. :)

I shoot you an email soon. I'm very intrigued.

EGF- That is an excellent rule. Fortunately, my one respire from x-mas music is work, otherwise, I'd have to put a similar sanction into effect.
Some might say bossy, I just say you're just right.

Dr. A - Oh yes, that is wrong, WRONG, I say. Isn't physical therapy painful enough anyway?

Dimitris said...

hey, in LA 103.5 plays holiday jingles the entire month of December. speaking of nightmares...