Thursday, November 5, 2009

Attack of the Rash (and hormones)

I've decided I'd rather endure pain than itch. At least the drugs for pain work. All the crap on the market for itching is complete bullshit.

Starting Sunday around 5:00pm until 5:00am, I watched as my entire body, from the neck down, was taken over by the rash from hell. At first, I blamed the new couch. We just purchased a new couch and I've heard reports that bed bugs are on the rise, so this was what I secretly feared as I lounged on the couch Sunday, itching like crazy. At first it was just my back, but then I started itching on the back of my legs. I thought maybe this was all in my mind, since thinking about the couch being infested with bugs, could surely result in some psychosomatic itching.

I decided a shower was the answer. And it was, kinda. After getting undressed, I glanced at the itchy places in the mirror and saw that my back and the back of my legs were red, as if I had a sun burn, and were covered in giant whelps that were anywhere from 3 to 5 inches in diameter.

Still not completely convinced that the couch was not to blame, I decided to lay in bed and watch TV. I was clean and covered in anti-itching cream. I felt pretty sure things were under control until my stomach and the front of my legs started itching. I got up, looked in the mirror and sure enough, they were red and the gigantic, weird hive-looking patches were starting to form. I smeared some more crap on the new places and got back in bed. This became an hourly ritual that I repeated until about 5:00am when the rash made it all the way to the palms of my hands and the soles of my feat. Needless to say, it sucked ass. On the plus side, as new rash formed, the older parts of the rash went away. I figured it was over, until about 7:30 when the tell-tale itching started back up again on my back. At this point I decided I needed to seek medical help because I was pretty sure I couldn't endure another round.

Turns out it's hormones. FUCKING HORMONES.

I spent Monday and Tuesday taking a shit-ton of anti-histamines, lapsing in and out of consciousness and itchiness. Yesterday was my first anti-histamine-free day. The rash thing started up again around 8:00pm, but it wasn't nearly as bad as on Monday. Thank goodness. If I experience that shit again any time in the near future, I will probably either (a) lose my fucking mind, or (b) overdose on anti-histamines or (c) both.

Anyway, I did learn something; There are no good drugs (oral or topical) for itching.


chall said...

hormones? really? I guess that leaves it to me to wonder aloud if this hormonal thing is related to "sharing a body with someone else"? ^^

In any event, sounds rough! I hope you get less rash and more sleep in the future!

tideliar said...

What? You're allergic to your own hormones? What the everliving fuck?

Wait...Chall is suggesting you're pregnant?


Unknown said...

Holy crap!! That has got to be both scary and annoying.

(And now I'm going to be annoying, but hopefully funny as well: "whelps" = "puppies". While I am sure (now) that you meant "welts", in my exhausted stupor I was imagining you with a bunch of puppies stuck all over the backs of your legs and simultaneously trying to reconcile these two thoughts:

1) Well, duh, you're allergic to dog dander; this is the obvious source of the rash.

2) How in the hell did you stick a bunch of puppies to your legs?? Velcro?? Were they chihuahuas?? And, perhaps more importantly, why???)

AA needs a nap. Hope you feel less itchy soon.

And yeah, are you trying to tell us you're preggers???

Cath@VWXYNot? said...

ugh, that sucks. I hope you get it figured out and under control.

chall said...

I didn't mean to start something. I ama just lately not getting what else hormonal there is talking about?! (blame it on all people around me who are talking about pregnant, getting pregnant, wanting etc)

microbiologist xx said...

chall - don't worry, you didn't start anything. I am in fact pregnant. :) I'm slowly catching up on the sleep. Last night I got a full 6 hours.

tideliar - Yeah, apparently when your hormones are really high, you can have these weird rashes. It fucking blows.

AA - Well, I had no idea that that whelps actually meant puppies. In fact, I've never even heard/read the word before today. I did in fact mean welts. :) As it turns out, I entered welps instead of welts in my original draft. I didn't catch it, but spell check did, and changed the word to whelps when I likely pressed the OK button without much inspection. Spell check is only as smart as the idiot using it.
However, I would've preferred a bunch of puppies to the shitty rash. The mental picture alone is hilarious.

Cath - thanks. everything seems to be under control now. Just a little itching during the night, but nothing like the hell that was Sunday and Monday.

So yes, I am pregnant, but no I wasn't trying to find some kind of covert way to get you to guess. And again chall, no big deal. I was wondering how to approach the subject on the blog, but now I don't have too. Problem solved. woo hoo. :)

Cath@VWXYNot? said...

Woo hoo! Congratulations - that's awesome!

A big baby announcement week in the blogosphere...

chall said...

Congrats!! I hope the welts and rashes disappear fast. Strange things in deed. Who knew?

And the whelps... some animals dowhelping when giving birth, as far as I remember my animal classes. Ferrets come to mind ^^ don't ask.

Anyhow, good luck with getting lesser rashes!

EcoGeoFemme said...

My BFF had this same thing happen this week, but she's not pregnant. Anyway, congratulations!!! How funny that two of you slipped the news this week in such indirect ways. When are you due?

Tom said...

Actually ... there is a condition picked up during pregnancy called PUPPS, which is a rash. It usually occurs in the last trimester (IIRC). My sister had it, and it continued a bit after she gave birth. She hated every minute of it.

So the whelps comment is sort of apropos.

chall said...

btw, a friend of mine told me that sometimes these rashes can be an indication of the Rh factor thingy... if you are rh- and the fetus is rh+ . but then again, you probably know if that is the case?

anyhow, good luck with no more rashes!!

Tom said...


If this is a first pregnancy the chances of that happening are extremely remote to practically non-existent. The time to be concerned with that is upon childbirth, where the mother is more prone to being exposed to the infants blood, posing potential problems for the second Rh+ child.

Unknown said...

Well, congrats on your whelp!! Hope the welts have given you some relief. ;)