Starting Sunday around 5:00pm until 5:00am, I watched as my entire body, from the neck down, was taken over by the rash from hell. At first, I blamed the new couch. We just purchased a new couch and I've heard reports that bed bugs are on the rise, so this was what I secretly feared as I lounged on the couch Sunday, itching like crazy. At first it was just my back, but then I started itching on the back of my legs. I thought maybe this was all in my mind, since thinking about the couch being infested with bugs, could surely result in some psychosomatic itching.
I decided a shower was the answer. And it was, kinda. After getting undressed, I glanced at the itchy places in the mirror and saw that my back and the back of my legs were red, as if I had a sun burn, and were covered in giant whelps that were anywhere from 3 to 5 inches in diameter.
Still not completely convinced that the couch was not to blame, I decided to lay in bed and watch TV. I was clean and covered in anti-itching cream. I felt pretty sure things were under control until my stomach and the front of my legs started itching. I got up, looked in the mirror and sure enough, they were red and the gigantic, weird hive-looking patches were starting to form. I smeared some more crap on the new places and got back in bed. This became an hourly ritual that I repeated until about 5:00am when the rash made it all the way to the palms of my hands and the soles of my feat. Needless to say, it sucked ass. On the plus side, as new rash formed, the older parts of the rash went away. I figured it was over, until about 7:30 when the tell-tale itching started back up again on my back. At this point I decided I needed to seek medical help because I was pretty sure I couldn't endure another round.
Turns out it's hormones. FUCKING HORMONES.
I spent Monday and Tuesday taking a shit-ton of anti-histamines, lapsing in and out of consciousness and itchiness. Yesterday was my first anti-histamine-free day. The rash thing started up again around 8:00pm, but it wasn't nearly as bad as on Monday. Thank goodness. If I experience that shit again any time in the near future, I will probably either (a) lose my fucking mind, or (b) overdose on anti-histamines or (c) both.
Anyway, I did learn something; There are no good drugs (oral or topical) for itching.