Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Enough already

My plans for the evening were to eat, shower, veg. out on the couch and watch TV. However, my plans were fatally flawed because there is nothing worth watching (yeah, I know, I know, this is not new). It seems like television programming consists largely of the following:

1. Shows featuring people who raise a litter of children.
I do not find birthing, managing, raising, conceiving or even being around 8-17 children interesting or remotely entertaining. I also resent that these shows appear to portray these families as having financial difficulties when they are clearly getting paid to appear on the program.

2. Shows about brides.
Jesus fucking christ people! The commercials alone make me want to blow my head off. Who are these stupid bitches, the douchebags who are marry them, the friends who put up with them and the awesome parents that raised such a waste of space? Actually, I don't want to know. Besides, are weddings that interesting? No, they're not.

3. Shows about housewives, fictional or not.
Seriously, these are not housewives. These are people that worship money. They are stupid, embarrassing and completely devoid of any actual personality. Also, please tell me the whole wife-swapping crap is almost over. How about a show about a woman who works and raises a child or children? I guess since she might not have enough time to fake-bake, get drunk over lunch, gossip or shop for designer clothes at every opportunity, that it just wouldn't be very interesting.

4. America's next top _____________.
OK, America's Next Top Model was entertaining for a few seasons and I really liked Project Runway, but exactly how many more renditions of this theme are we going to go through? I thought that we reached the bottom of the barrel with animal grooming, but who am I kidding, something even more ridiculous is surely on the horizon.

5. Shows about psychics and/or the paranormal.
It's not real. Besides, you are never going to convince me of a paranormal experience by presenting my with a professionally edited and produced video.

The only thing that makes the existence of these shows tolerable is watching Joel McHale poke fun at them on The Soup.

Note: Aside from ANTM and Project Runway, I've never actually made it through an entire episode of a single one of these shows, so I am more than willing to admit that my assessment of how tedious and annoying they are might actually be wrong. Maybe at the end of each episode, everyone learns a lesson and serves food to the less fortunate.


Anonymous said...

The worst thing about these shows is the product placement. Disgraceful...

microbiologist xx said...

OMG! How did I forget about the product placement? Even the shows I am still inclined to watch do a horrible job with this. AND...who does this work on and how? Obviously it must, or why spend the money, but I just don't get it.
Glad to see you around again! Long semester?

Anonymous said...

Un-fucking-believable semester - and not in a good way...

chall said...

haha... i am there. Sometimes I thought I liked those Bride shows but after two episodes i got a massive head ache realising that this is the reason people think I (since I am a woman) will behave like that.

On a side not though, the wedding cake specialist show I found the other day was very fun to watch. maaybe because I like to watch cake rather than eat it?!!?!

ScientistMother said...

OMG how can you not LOVE So you think you can dance! They are no product placements (at least not that I know of) and amazing talented dancers.

Julie @ Bunsen Burner Bakery said...

This is why I almost exclusively watch the Food Network. Ace of Cakes? yes please. Iron Chef? yes please.

microbiologist xx said...

chall - I can't believe you made it through two episodes. :() A lot of people seem to like the cake shows. I hear a lot of good things about them, but I haven't caught one yet.

SM - I've never watched So you think you can dance, but since people who are dancing are generally quiet, it would have to be better than the other shows. I have watched America's Best Dance Crew and I thought that was OK...well except for the host.

EtBr - Maybe I just need to try Ace of Cakes. Everyone raves about it!

Mad Hatter said...

I've never watched a full episode of any of these shows either, but even your descriptions of them are annoying (I mean what the shows are about, not your writing).

I'm with EtBr on Ace of Cakes--great show. Even if the rest of the show doesn't interest you, it's worth tuning in at the end to see the amazing cakes they make!

microbiologist xx said...

OK. I'm going to have to catch the Ace of Cakes now just out of curiosity.