Recently, I encountered an individual who I thought seemed like your average everyday pedestrian, although dressed a little on the warm side. About 3o seconds later, I was worried I was going to end up a head line on the evening news: Mental health patient escapes from hospital, kills woman sitting at red light.
Here is how it went down:
I pulled up to a stoplight to make a right turn. While waiting for a break in the traffic, I notice a man standing on the corner (to the left) at the crosswalk. He is wearing jeans and a grey hoodie with the hood up. This strikes me as odd because it's still really warm here...way too warm for a sweat shirt. As he crosses the street and passes directly in front of my car, I notice his accessories: gardening gloves (that look fresh from the package) and shiny black dress shoes.
In addition to the unique ensemble, this guy is walking very slow, eyes looking straight ahead and his posture is very rigid. Just when I think things are getting kinda creepy, he kneels down, lowers his face to the ground and proceeds to lick the freaking sidewalk. At this point things are officially weird and gross. After he finishes, he calmly gets up, turns around and heads back across the street (to where he started). I assume he is going to repeat the process and I wonder how many times before he decides to pull out a gun and shoot everyone at the intersection (Yes, I watch a lot of bizarre TV). I am ready to get the hell out of there. Luckily, there was a break in traffic and I made my right hand turn.
I often wonder who that guy was, how he chose his outfit, where he was going and how long it took him to get there.