Wednesday, October 27, 2010

When pedestrians scare me

Recently, I encountered an individual who I thought seemed like your average everyday pedestrian, although dressed a little on the warm side. About 3o seconds later, I was worried I was going to end up a head line on the evening news: Mental health patient escapes from hospital, kills woman sitting at red light.

Here is how it went down:
I pulled up to a stoplight to make a right turn. While waiting for a break in the traffic, I notice a man standing on the corner (to the left) at the crosswalk. He is wearing jeans and a grey hoodie with the hood up. This strikes me as odd because it's still really warm here...way too warm for a sweat shirt. As he crosses the street and passes directly in front of my car, I notice his accessories: gardening gloves (that look fresh from the package) and shiny black dress shoes.

In addition to the unique ensemble, this guy is walking very slow, eyes looking straight ahead and his posture is very rigid. Just when I think things are getting kinda creepy, he kneels down, lowers his face to the ground and proceeds to lick the freaking sidewalk. At this point things are officially weird and gross. After he finishes, he calmly gets up, turns around and heads back across the street (to where he started). I assume he is going to repeat the process and I wonder how many times before he decides to pull out a gun and shoot everyone at the intersection (Yes, I watch a lot of bizarre TV). I am ready to get the hell out of there. Luckily, there was a break in traffic and I made my right hand turn.
I often wonder who that guy was, how he chose his outfit, where he was going and how long it took him to get there.


Cath@VWXYNot? said...

WOW. How bizarre!

Are you sure it wasn't some kind of performance art, though? :)

microbiologist xx said...

Funny you should ask that b/c for a minute I thought maybe other pedestrians were going to jump out and start doing the same thing or start dancing, like those videos you see on youtube.
He looked pretty out of it though, not that I got a real good look at his face. I figured eye contact was not the way to go.

Anonymous said...

He wasn't kissing the ground. He was looking for his crack pipe.

chall said...

LICKED? As in really put tongue on pavement?

so, I take it you didn't call the police? I've plugged in the "non emergency number" to the police here since I still don't understand what I'm supposed to do when people act strangly and might be a danger to themselves or others.

Not that I have called that many times, but the operators are good to ask "I'm not sure whats going on here" context. THen again, anyone who licks pavement are in need to a stern telling about dog poop, insects and other disgusting things.

(and I'm not that scared of germs but lick? NO)

unknown said...

I love the city. I am certain that something like that would not happen in a small town.

microbiologist xx said...

TR - Based on that behavior, I would guess he knows exactly where is crack pipe is, if he isn't just balls out crazy.

chall - Yes, LICKED!! Not just the tip of the tongue, the full tongue and it was a big lick spanning at least 4-5 inches. Totally gross.
I didn't call the police. In fact, it didn't even cross my mind. Next time I see some crazy shit like that, maybe I'll try out the ole 411. You're right, they could be a danger to themselves or someone else.

GPD - I saw some crazy shit when I lived in a small town, but nothing approaching the shit I've seen in and around the medical center.