Dear I.T. staff,
You dumb fucking donkeys are completely useless. I glimpsed this on my first day at post-doc institution when you walked into my office, hung your head, sighed and said in a defeated voice, “Great. You use a Mac.” Remember, I connected my computer to the network printer while you watched. I assumed your ineptitude was Mac-specific, but today I realized that it’s likely technology-specific.
I'm not going to lie. It’s disconcerting to find out that the network at this university is infected with a virus, but it's totally fucked up, to learn that the network became infected with this virus over three weeks ago and no one informed the people who hook their computers up to said network until today. Apparently, you didn't think it was a big deal a few weeks ago because only a few computers were infected.
Do you jackasses even know what a goddamn computer virus is? I think you don’t, and since your unlikely to get fired, I feel the need to at least try and educate you.
A computer virus is a computer program that can copy itself and infect the computer without the permission or knowledge of the computer operator. Furthermore, the virus can spread to other computers via floppy disk, CD, DVD, USB drive and networks.
Computer programs are instructions for a computer. A computer is a machine that manipulates data according to a set of instructions. A machine is any device that uses energy to perform an activity.