1. I nearly broke my ankle last year in a sleepwalking incident.
I am not sure what the hell I was doing, but at some point in the night, while asleep, I felt the need to leap from the bed to the floor. Sounds harmless right? Now consider that I didn't land on the floor on my side of the bed. Instead, I leapt over Lancelot, ending on the floor on his side of the bed. Now factor in a king size bed. I awoke to find myself in intense pain and extremely confused. Once I got my wits about me, I hobbled downstairs, grabbed some frozen vegetables, popped a few hundred painkillers and contemplated going to the emergency room. Ultimately, I decided my ankle was not broken and later found out from the doctor that it was a horrible sprain.
2. I convinced my friends at after school care that I knew the devil...personally.
I bored easily as a child* and for some reason, I thought this sounded fun. At first they did not believe me. I proposed that we dig him up and ask, because of course, the devil is a man and he lives under the ground. Once we got about a foot down, I pointed into the hole and shouted, "Look, a horn!" Everyone screamed and ran away. I pretty much ruled that place after that.
3. I can't stand anything touching the front of my neck.
All my shirts, that aren't v-necks, are completely warped in the collar because I am constantly pulling them away from my neck. The dentist and the hair salon are particularly problematic. To avoid going bat shit in these establishments, I put my finger between my neck and the little paper bib (dentist) or the collar thingy (hair salon) so that I am the only thing touching my neck. If someone's hand gets too close, I will hit it away before I realize what I am doing. Take home message: keep the hell away from my neck.
4. It can take me a couple of weeks to name a new cat.
It is a long drawn out process that involves making lists, narrowing down, testing out names, etc. It sounds silly, but I can't just name them Dave or something. For example, my cat Sifo Dias (named after a Star Wars character) was almost named Wu or Adabisi. Ultimately, Sifo Dias or Jedi Master Sifo Dias, was just more fun to say. Plus, Sifo Dias has mad skills, it's as if he can use the force. He is pictured below.
5. I bought so many shoes a couple of years ago that I actually grounded myself.
I couldn't go near the Nordstrom or DSW for six months. It was soooo hard.
6. I freaking love the Deadliest Catch.
It is my favorite show. I watch it so much that I can troubleshoot some of the problems that occur on the boats with some degree of accuracy. I know they are terribly sexist, but I just can't help it. I find it fascinating and I cannot get enough of it. I now rate the danger of all activities up against crab fishing on the Bering Sea.
* OK. I still bore easily.
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5 comments:
Hahaha, #2 is hilarious!!!
See I understand number 5 with the shoes... and number 2 was, as Cath says, hilarious :) Talk about imagination of a child. Lucky you weren't in a very religious place (i assume?)
only child + only grandchild for 7 yrs.+ moves around a lot = vivid imagination and #2.
chall - I grew up in the south, but my family is not religious and I think the other kids were too scared to tell on me.
Wow, what kind of cat is that?
candid engineer - That type of cat is referred to as a bengal. It is a cross between an asian leopard cat and a domestic cat. Normally I could never afford such a cat, but I rescued him and his momma from a bad breeder. They get pretty large. He is almost twice this size now.
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